McMINNVILLE, Ore. (BP)–Karen Hughes can probably relate to something author Charlotte Montgomery once shared. Years ago she told “Good Housekeeping” (May 1959) about a third-grade paper one of her children penned. The subject was how Montgomery budgeted her time. Her daughter wrote, “… one-half time on home, one-half time on outside things, one-half time writing.”
The most senior female adviser to any U.S. president might have difficulty wholly identifying with the little girl’s observation. But Hughes seems to know. In response, she is stepping down from one of the world’s most powerful and influential positions to spend more time with her family.
Advocates of family values are applauding Hughes’ difficult decision. Feminists are shaking their heads in disbelief.
Writing in The New York Times, Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist Maureen Dowd responded to Hughes’ announcement by writing, “Women will never get anywhere in this boy’s administration, or this boy’s town, or this boy’s world if they’re going to sacrifice prime West Wing real estate every time their husbands and kids kvetch.”
On leaving such a prestigious position, Dowd continued, “Most people here would cut off their arm to get the president’s ear, you get no respect hitting from the ladies’ tee.”
What Dowd — who as far as I can tell is unmarried and childless (and I did extensive research to try to find out) — does not seem to grasp is there are priorities that transcend power, position and prestige. For some, there exists a category of priorities that can only be described as priceless.
Something is deemed to be invaluable if money cannot replace it. Once a priceless item is gone from one’s life, a void is left that is almost impossible to fill. Karen Hughes decision leads me to believe she considers her husband, 15-year-old son, stepdaughter and granddaughter to be priceless.
When Hughes vacates her position this summer she will leave behind a six-figure income, but she also will say goodbye to the very long hours that go with it. She told a Washington Post reporter last year that she went home early on Wednesdays, at 5:30 p.m., to be with her son Robert.
Note that Hughes considered a 5:30 p.m. ending to her day early! Also note she was able to manage this early escape only once a week. Though Hughes tried not to work on weekends, when you are in the president’s inner circle you are on call 24/7. It would not be surprising to learn that family time interruptions were routine in the Hughes household.
Karen Hughes is to be commended for taking stock of her life and being honest enough to admit changes needed to be made. I suspect there are many men who have taken notice of Hughes decision and are asking themselves some very searching questions. I know I have.
For perhaps too many of us, even when we are not at the office physically we are “at” the office mentally. The following queries appeared in the Detroit Free Press (March 20, 1999). They are offered as food for thought:
— When you and your child get back together after school, work or play, do you demonstrate interest in hearing about her time, thoughts and experiences? Or do you just ask, “Have a good time?”
— When your child comes to you with some creation, do you actually spend the time to look, listen and ask questions?
— How often do you blow your child off because you have a headache, backache or are just too pooped?
How frequently do you yell at your kid to “be quiet” or “go away and play somewhere else”?
— How many times do you turn your kid down when he asks to play or talk?
— How many hours does your kid spend at the computer or watching television while you are relieved she’s not “bugging you”?
— When was the last time your family planned a family adventure or outing?
I try to be conscious of how my vocation affects my family. However, I have to admit that some of the aforementioned questions hit close to home, too close.
I am not sure if Karen Hughes was ever exposed to the questions printed in the Detroit Free Press. However, something — or perhaps a series of somethings — led her to conclude that her family needed more time. Perhaps she even realized she needed more time from them. Whatever the case, she is placing her family above her career. May her tribe increase.
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Boggs is Baptist Press’ regular Friday columnist. He is pastor of Valley Baptist Church, McMinnville, Ore.
